Thanks Lou

I was very hurt when he first moved OW there but not so anymore, especially since they are no longer together.

Our sex life since has also not been a problem. I have heard that for some people when there has been a PA it affects things adversely in bed, but I have to say that since we reinstigated our sexual R, it has never crossed my mind that he was with her, as he is with me now.

He also forgave me for the (several) other people I slept with during that year so I feel as if I have nothing to complain about sexually.

I wouldn't mind going there and he has bought a new bed since they split up so it isn't the bed he slept with her in. Technically a virgin bed since he hasn't had sex with anyone in it.

My problem is, that Ex-OW still lives there, and bf stays a lot too and if I went round there I would have to make small talk with her and I really don't want to.

I don't dislike her, she's quite nice in some respects, and I can quite happily email the woman, but I just don't want to make small talk with her.

He hasn't told her we are together because she said to him the first time he came to me, that if he came to me again and didn't re-marry me, she would quit doing housework etc.

He's not keen on losing his cleaner before she finds her place, so he hasn't said anything. It would be awkward as heck if I had to tell her. She's fine with it as long as we re-marry because she says he has messed me around for long enough but the re-marriage thing hasn't happened yet so she'd totally fruit if she knew.

The woman has a temper that even I am scared of!

Once she leaves, and her kids leave, it will be easier to go round there.

H has asked before, several times for me to go there and I always say no. He seemed bothered this time when I said no. Do you think I should go there?

Jo.