I think my H would perceive a convo like that as rejection of his efforts at the R (E.G, coming over when I've asked him, buying me a present, fixing my computer, buying me take-out, the chats etc which although small things are efforts for him).

I think also that actions speak louder than words and if I do decide enough is enough I would just cut him off without forewarning.

I have also told him after the first time we slept together (Dec 04) that I would call it off if he moved house without me and he wouldn't be able to have casual sex with me.

He is intending on moving at some point late this year, early next year and that will be the crunch point.
Sleeping with me was never unconditional as it's my body/my life etc.
He accepted this at the time and said he wanted to work on the R.

If he doesn't move out in the next year and still carries on without much improvement in the R, I will apply for a bigger house and say to him that this is for all of us. If he chooses not to come, they'll be no more messing about. Everything will then be on a 'civil only' basis.

I am confident, though, that I will be going with him. Despite the latest installment, I think we have made massive progress considering where we were last November and esp. considering where we were last April.
It was only a year ago that I was in court with him, with barristers etc. Now we have been dating 4 months which is an amazing step.

I am just going to be less available/less interested for a while and see if that does the trick.

Jo.