Dating my H after D - now nearly 4 months

[holdingon]

Jo,
Gee, I kind of think that everyone is giving you a hard time here...

How do YOU feel when you have sex with your xh? Connected? or cheap? Do you feel good? Or used? I think you can decide what those feelings are.

I don't think using sex as a weapon is a good thing... ie withholding it. That is what doomed my R with my xh. I know that if he wanted to have sex, it would be his way of saying "I am willing to feel close to you or I am willing to allow myself to be connected with you." Sex was always a huge deal with my xh. When he was at home and having his A, which I did not know about at the time, he still had sex with me... One night he stopped and I knew it was over.

Ask yourself what DB says... will it bring you closer or further away from your goal? I am thinking it will put distance between you, especially if your xh's LL is physical touch. Stop asking everyone, only you can decide.

Now, a question for you... after you were D did your xh start being nice to you?