Wow,

Your W's mother sounds as nutty as mine! Charging her to leave the house!?!

My mother just flat out said 'no' most of the time. I was allowed to H's house once a week (met him when I was 10) and she was ok with that then because I was only friends with him and she was best friend to his mother at the time.

It changed as soon as I was romantically involved with him.
She stopped speaking to his mother whom she had been friends with for 6 years.

She allowed me to go to a Disco once a week, but with her there and she was the only person I was allowed to dance with (!).

That was all the freedom I got. The rest of the time I was stuck in my room and is why I took up writing as a form of self-entertainment.

I think your W will only be able to see her mother for what she is once she comes to that conclusion herself. I know my H will not cut my mother out until he reaches the same point I am at.

Your W sounds like an intelligent woman who has overcome a lot of issues. If she percieved you as being unsupportive, this is your golden opportunity to show her you're not!

I'm not sure how to make my list more specific without setting myself up for disappointment if said goal should not work out by the date I want. Any suggestions?

When H and I eventually move back in, it will be to a new house. We would have to get a completely different house as where he is living has really steep stairs (I have often joked with him that he moved there on purpose to 'Jo-proof' the house! ) and my place is a tiny 2 bedroomed bungalow designed for elderly couple's with no storage space - in fact, my garden is bigger than the bungalow!
Whenever I have dd's here, we feel like sardine's in a can so we would definitely need to get another 3 or 4 bed place, and this kinda adds to the complication of moving in together as neither of us can afford removal costs atm - another reason to pay off our debts!

Jo.