Your post made me laugh, especially the bit about how you don't want to murder your father!
I trained in Rogerian style (Carl Rogers, person-centred therapy) but I wasn't very impressed with the techniques taught to me at university and think they are very suited to extremely distressed or suicidal people but not much good for people who want solutions to specific issues. I then specialised in dysfunctional families, but it was mainly what my coach taught me (similar principles to DB'ing) that really impressed me.
I do use Freud but only with dreams (he did a lot of work with the unconscious) - some of his interpretations of dream symbols are very useful to me as I interpret my own dreams to help me in my sitch with H and it does actually provide me with a lot of guidance.
Re my H, yes, to be honest I was terrified it would unravel all the progress, but then I thought, he just said he loves me the day before so you can't suddenly not love someone when you have told them you do. A bit of rationalization and speaking to him on the phone helped. I am still a little unnerved by it but I shall feel better when I see him on Friday.
Re your W and the fitness training, obviously I have not met her so I only have your side to go on, but from what you've said, it seems as if she's a bit lonely and wanting to share some of her life with you.
It wouldn't surprise me if she doesn't like going on her own, this comment seems like a hint. She's discussing it again because she was able to discuss it with you those months ago in a positive way so she knows she can bring it up and still feel safe because it's 'tried and tested' - it's a way of connecting in to something she knows you can talk about.
Why don't you try (gently) asking her how her training is going next time you see her, and see if that fires another conversation between you? It's conversation and common interest which sew the seeds for a friendship.
You could suggest working out with her but if she backtracks, don't mention it again. Perhaps to start with you could initiate the fitness discussion and see where that leads you, have a few more of those before you suggest going with her.
If you keep talking, she might suggest it herself.
Mixed signals are common in people who still have feelings and are not sure if they are doing the right thing. She may in the end decide to D, or like my H, it may take a D for her to realise that she loves you, or these baby steps may avert a D altogether.
None of us are fortune tellers so I think it's best not to stress out about where it's going. You can't know that and at least you are trying. I'd just go with the flow - I know it's painful when you love someone (I wish I saw H more than twice a week) but it's what has to happen if we want to strengthen our R's.
