Sounds like H could use a lesson in Venusian. H didn't validate your feelings very well, did he? I'm glad that things ended up smoothing out. I can understand your trepidation w/ arguments. Kind of makes you worried that arguments will undo the progress you have made in your R?
Now a question about my W. W and I were talking about fitness a few months ago and I told her that I thought she could do very well working out w/o a personal trainer b/c she is so disciplined. I was trying out some Words of Affirmation love language and, as it turns out, was doing some validation. Well, it's been a few months since then. I don't know if you caught it in my post, but W told me as I was leaving that she was taking my advice , or that I was right or something, and starting to train on her own. It was totally out of the blue and unsolicited. So, we talked about that for a little while. One thing she said was that she doesn't like to work out alone b/c she can get bored w/o someone to talk to and that there is less motivation for her. I validated, but not to the level I would have liked.
What significance do you draw from the fact that she shared this bit of info w/ me and in the way she did and months after we talked about the topic?
Do you think that I could readdress the topic and better validate her endeavors w/o making it uncomfortable?
Do you think she was testing the waters by saying that she prefers not to work out by herself? (She hasn't really been good at being alone in general in our R.)
Is there an opportunity there for me to suggest we could work out together sometime if she would like, coinciding w/ validating that working out by one's self is challenging?
I don't know. As I have shared w/ you and you have probably concluded on your own, W is sending me mixed signals about the sitch. It's full steam ahead w/ the D, but then it seems like she isn't sincere about D in the things she has said to me and in the way she seems to be reaching out to me. Baby steps are good, but where are they leading?
Anyway, I thought you might have some insight. And again, I'm sorry for turning your thread into a psychiatrist's couch. You're not a Freudian, are you? Because, I'm not in love w/ my mother and I don't want to murder my father. So, don't worry about it.
