These points are very helpful - good possibilities and issues to think about. If my W took to apologiizing once in awhile, our R would be in much better shape, but I think she's a ways from there still.
I liked your sensitivity to the differences b/t the sitches with a WAW vs. a WAH, and imagine that you're early advice on my thread is on target - to avoid the romance and pursuit for now. Its more about me going dark, staying positive, and not letting her get the impression that I'm a spineless worm willing to merely wait for her.
I asked in part to see what my W might need to go thru to 'work thru' her own anger/resentment. I've seen some of this already: the depression, the reliance on friends, the nastiness (in person, not in letters! ), and rather than a life coach - counseling. Hopefully, she won't do the one-night stand or OM stuff, but then I'm not seeing an OW now either.
If she is blaming me for our finances (moderate debt), how might I ease this? I'm doing a good amount of extra work to pay off my share quickly. Is that too distant or cold, or might that be just the thing to quiet this worry?
), and rather than a life coach - counseling. Hopefully, she won't do the one-night stand or OM stuff, but then I'm not seeing an OW now either.