This was part of a question that Gabriel wrote but I wanted to write it separately for all the other H's on here too:

STUFF MY H DID TO ENABLE MY FORGIVENESS:

1. Sometimes he apologised, either in person or by email.

2. With the fridge incident, he took me to the hospital and sat holding my hand and hugging me for 4 hours and I took tell by his eyes he felt awful about it, he had this 'OMG, what have I done' look in his eyes, as it was his baby he was endangering too because she was on a foetal heart monitor due to that.
This was enough for me to forgive him - he did put it back afterwards (but not the food, because he ate that, Lol).

3. He still remembered my birthday's and sent me flowers and took me out to dinner even when we were fighting the rest of the time (we put our differences aside for that), strange because he wouldn't do that at xmas for the kids, just on my birthday.

This obviously doesn't work for a LBS but if the H is a WAH and he still remembers your birthday, well, it's a good indicator there are still feelings.
I am a sucker for romance and even if he'd done something horrible and then brought me flowers, I'd be like 'ahh, how sweet'. Stupid female.

4. A couple of times he'd gone really over the top, he offered to take me on a mini break (we were not dating then) - I accepted on both ocassions, one time he took me to Clacton on Sea (beach resort) and another time to Wales.

5. Over-compensating with baby because he was rotten to me, i.e, insult me and then buy our baby �120 of clothes (worth the fall out then, - only joking).

6. Cry in front of me (this happened maybe twice) so I knew he was suffering too.

7. He would never let others insult me even if he was, because I heard from his relatives that whenever they tried to bad-mouth me, he'd jump to my defence immediately and tell them to shutup. This helped me to forgive him a lot

8. He told his brother that I gave him 'the best sex he's ever had in his life' an his brother told me

9. He was always there when it counted even if we were fighting the rest of the time.
For instance one time I was followed back from a Christmas party and this bloke tried to make me get off with him. I eventually managed to get him to leave me alone but it scared the crap out of me and I rang H in tears even though we normally had no contact.
He talked me through it on the phone and told me to go to the police etc and he was really sweet to me even though we weren't on speaking terms. (I did not go to the police as I was not attacked as such, I was just frightened half to death so I didn't think it merited the police).

My point being, that he was still always there if I needed him. I knew that even in court, if my house was burning down he'd be there with a bucket of water, trying to put it out

I don't think any of this is very useful to people now I've written it, but they are the things he did which enabled me not to hate him.

Jo.