I mis-read your question because I was still fog-brained from that horrible nightmare - if I could work out an alibi I could write it up as a murder mystery book!
How did I work through my anger with what he did to me? It was in stages over a LONG period of time:
1. Deep depression (as I have told people about before).
2. Focus on past events in the M which were good to compensate for bad current life (that's why I started writing my book about him and me) - writing it down was very theraputic.
3. Reliance on friends for my emotional needs and later on myself (I made loads of new friends post-separation).
4. Getting angry and writing nasty letters to him (didn't work and made him angry so I later starting destroying the letters after I wrote them, it got it out of my system).
5. When he got OW I had 4 one night stands and a fling (I know that sounds terrible, but it was a way of coping with the terrible pain and betrayal - plus my H was the only person I'd ever slept with prior to that as we lost our virginity to each other and I needed to know if other men found me attractive).
6. Total indifference (cutting off completely for my own sanity) this was what eventually brought him round to me.
7. My life-coach gave me coaching for 2 years of this and helped me to understand H's point of view and WHY he was being nasty, which made it difficult for me to hate him. I used techniques given to me by the coach to get a friendship with H and later a relationship.
