It won't let me post in the other thread.

Lou - I loved the bunny joke but was in tears when I read it and couldn't get up the enthusiasm to laugh. I know you love bunnies really!

Gabriel - How did I not get angry? I rarely get angry anyway, I get hurt rather than angry usually. I was not hurt when he first said it because he said ILY just a couple of hours before that and I was still on a high.

Whenever I said something negative I'd then tell him I wasn't getting at him, just giving my opinion, and always hug after the discussion.

As I found out last night, though, LETTERS don't work with him. I won't be doing that one again.

Bulldog - I'll be onto your sitch is just a tick, I promise.

At the moment I don't feel as if I'm the queen of all authority on relationships but I'll do my best.


WELL WE HAD OUR FIRST ARGUMENT SINCE WE GOT TOGETHER IN DECEMBER:

And guess what it was about!? My bl**dy mother!!!!!

I sent an email saying the same thing that I told Ellie to H, his response was 'I don't know what you're getting so stressed about' (brush off).

I tried to discuss it with him but he refused to look at my side other than to tell me that my opinion did matter but providing no evidence as to how it mattered.

Then once he couldn't make me agree that he is right to send the kids round to my mother's, he blew up in my face
'I might have known it would be about this! It's ALWAYS about this! Just like the old days!' (the old days when we fought about my mother and stuff she'd done all the time).

It DOES seem infuriating that the first disagreement we have is about her, like we are going back to the same cycle of being in love as partners but then mother darling does something, H tries to see it from both sides and ends up sitting on the fence while I feel my opinions aren't valued. We did this for 8 years, hence the split.

I tried to defuse the situation by saying I was just stating my opinion and being honest (this usually works in person but we were on msn) and by saying I didn't want to walk on egg-shells with him, I wanted to be confident enough to state my opinion without fear of an argument.

He said he felt the same way about talking to me.
Then he went silent and I eventually said goodnight, sleep well, but got no response.

Lou's bunny joke was right after that while I was sitting at my computer with tears streaming down my face, and to think that on Monday he told me he loves me for the first time in 3 years and then the next day we have a row about HER!!!

I couldn't sleep all night and when I did I had this most horrific nightmare - you know I could write a murder mystery book with the plot line I got from that dream, it was terrible!

I woke up feeling guilty that my mind could contain such horrible things.

We've been slobbing round in our PJ's and we've only just had breakfast despite it being 10.28am.

I don't know what to do now. My initial feeling was to go dark until I see him next (Sam changed the Thursday date to Saturday as she has to see her dad) - so the next time I see him will be Friday, and I could test the waters then.

But when I got up this morning I thought how he never said goodnight and I am caught between wanting to go dark and wanting to make amends. If I called him now, do you think that would wind him up? (he's in cave mode) but then if I don't, he might interperet that as I don't care that he never said goodnight....ARRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Someone tell me what to do - I have ever encountered an argument before since we started dating.

Jo.