(((Gabriel)))

I know how much this hurts. You have to go to court? How awful. (You don't have to go to court for a D in the UK)

I think you're doing the right thing, protecting yourself, by not going.

I will advise you of the following:

1. DON'T mention the D at all when you speak to W; act like you're not bothered or like it isn't happening.

2. Remember, the D is a piece of paper, not your R. It cannot cancel your R, no matter what. It does not change what you have now. You loved each other before you married, right? M is an institution, not your R with your W.

3. My R with H only improved drastically post-D. Sometimes it is necessary to save your R as it releases the pressure from your spouse.

4. Post-D sex is the best sex I've ever had in my life - think what awaits you!

5. You can always re-marry if you succeed at DB'ING. Your old M is dead anyway and you are working towards a new and more fulfiling M, so you would need another ceremony regardless.

6. Re-marriage is another excuse for a party!

Jo.