Thanks for posting to my thread. Kevin, I imagine that most of us struggle with ambivalence at times. Its probably the dark side of detaching. I spent some time 2 mo ago wrestling with the question of whether I loved her anymore, and went back to our early times together when we went from good friends to best friends to lovers. I was able to recall what I loved about her then, and to see how some things that annoyed me in recent years were the very characteristics that drew me to her. Helped me to reconsider my stance, and realize that unless I cared for myself better, I'd have no chance with her or anyone.
Now that I'm happier about myself and my personal direction, my growing resentments were removed, and I can see her more clearly and confidently. Yep, I've noticed that too, that W is getting older. Yet, I find that sexy - her beautiful chestnut curls are showing some gray, her very fit body has some slight sags, yet she still excites me. I can still smell her and imagine her feel.
Yes, there are many great-looking young women prancing around. But to face another 10-12 years of maturing by a young partner is not my cup of tea, and as of now anyway, I'll deal with celibacy while I continue to work on myself and my R with S5 and wait on W's changes.
Ioavva, I thank you for that reassurance and I'll take it, keeping my expectations low and focusing on a friendship with her.
