Quote: A very nice time with all of us laughing and both of them enjoying sharing this experience with me.
I fought of the urge of kissing S5 goodnight and carrying W off to the bedroom or livingroom - felt a great amount of love and attraction to her after this scene, yet I must respect her need to grow and learn about herself. She seems to be acknowledging this a bit. How I love her!
Dear God, please help my family through this tough time. Keep W and S5 safe, and guide me in my actions. Amen.
I, too, have had feelings like this. However, as I mentioned either in my post or yours, that I am troubled b/c I don't see my W the way I used to. She's not the most beautiful woman in the world to me anymore. I don't know if I see some ugliness b/c of the sitch or what. We have been separated for over 10 months now. It is hard to believe. I also don't feel like I know her anymore and definitely not connected to her besides the K's.
I was looking at her as we talked last night and all I could think is "You're not as hot as you think you are.", "If you think you can do better than me, you're welcome to try." My W, while very attractive, is not 25 anymore. I am so frustrated and confused for feeling this way about her now. I wonder to myself, if she made advances, would I be receptive. I'm worried that too much damage has been done to get the feelings back. I don't like feeling this way b/c not too long ago I wasn't even questioning my attraction to her. I'm worried that love is not going to be my "choice" and that I'm going to cheat my K's somehow.
I'm glad that you are able to be so clear in your fellings for your W. I'm questioning mine at the moment. But, maybe this is just a natural progression that will help me detach and let go further. I know I will always love my W. I just don't know to what level anymore.
I have been asking God for guidance as well. I want to restore my M and honor the vows I made before Him. But, I am left wondering if trying to reconcile w/ W is the ultimate cheesless tunnel and if God's answer for me is different than what I'm thinking it is.
