Things are on the 'up' again, yes. And I do plan to take things slowly. One thing I'm working on is giving W the benefit of the doubt. Hard to do with a WAW, but all the same, I'm going to try this. Following her blow-up last week, when I complimented her by telephone on her mothering of S5, she said "Thank you!" very emphatically, and told me that I didn't say that enough in the past. She shared past resentments about my concerns about her mothering (her view - connected to my opinion of MIL's abuse of her in childhood). I was pi$$-poor in complimenting her on many things, instead teasing and joking instead of heartfelt reassurance.
Realized a few days ago that W's offers to have me spend time with S5 have more to do with her concerns about my R with him, than about her efforts to free up time for herself. Theres a small truth to that as well, yet I need to focus on the other - that W supports and wants a healthy R b/t S5 and I. Her sitting with me at his swim lessons and baseball games is big, as she would have chosen a location opposite me 4 months ago. Her comment to me in her blowout was "I'm not a weak, sick person. I'm strong enough to get through what I did and get to where I am. I'm strong." It was actually good to here such resilience in her, and not the "I'm a victim" mantra I had been hearing. I truly want to support this building up of strength in her, and not insecurely detract from that growth.
