Well, as you can see I changed my display name. More on that in a minute. Last night when I got home, I had some flowers for her. All day yesterday, when reading this forum, I could not help but think- How would I feel if we were not married anymore? As bad as I feel sometimes when we are not having enough sex (in my opinion), I would feel much worse not being around the woman I love. So, what can I do to try and make things better and not depend on the sex so much for me to feel the closeness I want with her. I got home, and she loved the flowers and we ate dinner. As soon as the kids were done, she started a conversation about the book (SSM). She said that she was not done with it yet, but had been reading it yesterday and found some things that stood out to her. We had a good discussion and since she had started the conversation, I was able to talk to her about some things and she heard me, instead of feeling like I had brought it up again and was bugging her....again. I should be receiving the UL book today and look forward to reading it. I would like to be able to manage my feelings better when I start feeling hurt or slighted by something she says. When I feel that way, I throw up my defense which is becoming distant and pissed off, which causes her to lash out with her hurtful words (which is her defense). If I could break that cycle before it begins, I think we will get somewhere.
I changed my display name just in case my wife decides to investigate this website. She knows of it, but not that i have been posting here. I don't think it would be a disaster for her to see what I have written, but I don't want anything to throw us off the track right now. So I am now nightrunner (I usually have to do my running at night, so I have time to do other stuff during the day). Thanks again to all for the advice.
God is love, love is blind, Ray Charles is blind......so there.
