Trust me, the C won’t just tell your W to have sex with you.
Very true.
andy, You are get fed from a fire hose right now. Be really careful not to let this site increase your anxiety. I've been reading all the "speculative" responses here and I'm feeling really bad for you right now because I would be overwhelmed. There is no easy fix to this. You can do the 5 love languages, read a million books, have long painful discussions with your spouse and it will not increase her desire one bit. I promise you that the solution is almost effortless from a "work" standpoint. It just requires bravery and some new understanding of how all this stuff really works. Once you understand the basic principals, you will know exactly what to say to your spouse. It just takes a while to change the way you are thinking right now. I was in the same state of mind as you when I came here.
I know this is a repeat, but the only thing that helped me and lots of others on this site to relax and form a real plan was reading the book Passionate Marriage. I highly recommend that stop talking about R stuff with your W right now and read this. It would have saved me 3 months of pain had I read it first. SSM has some big flaws when it comes to addressing the type of desire difference that alot of us here have. SSM is really designed for a motivated LD spouse.
BTW. Some people here have better insights than others. Be careful who you take advice from. Hell, be careful of taking advice from me. The only reason I think I've anything to offer is that we've had a pretty good bit of success. We went from 2-3x a year to 2-3x a week and oddly, I don't count my success on the frequency anymore.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
