Don't know what to do anymore

[nightrunner]

That is a very good suggestion, and yes, my worship minister at church told me about the Christian Services in Garland. I suggested to my wife that we go. Her reply was that someone else (counseler) telling her to have sex was not going to make her want to have sex. I have thought about just going myself, but this would be just like reading the books. If I am the only one wanting things to improve in this area, how is it going to help? To relply to the other previous posts- I should be doing plenty to win over my wife's mind. My mother says I do way too much for her (W). I sometime's agree, but isn't that what you are supposed to do for your spouse? Do things for them, make them feel like you care? for them and the kids? I agree with the previous post about her being too comfortable with the way things are. I think she thinks that I will do what I have been doing for 12 years (all the good stuff), whether she decides to have more sex or not. We had a big discussion over our marriage before we bought our house two years ago. I did not want to get into a house until we had our relationship worked out. She thought that I was holding the house over her head, but I just did not want to add more stuff that would have to be handled if we ended up getting divorced. We got away for the weekend and did alot of talking. We were going to work on this and that. Once we got into the house, everything went back to the way it was before. I am willing to do whatever I need to do, but I have got to be getting something back from her that tells me it is not all for nothing. I am not an old guy yet (no offense to any older guys), I am not ready to be put out to pasture, I still want an intimate, love filled relationship where it is me and my wife against the world and not each other.