Why can't the people we love work on this aspect of the relationship without making us feel as if something is wrong with us.
That "feeling" you get is a result of the way you two communicate. For us, the books did nothing but counseling did wonders in this area. We now mutually acknowledge that we are different without judgment. It may take some counseling to challenge your W's belief that "being horny is a bad thing" so she can accept you for the fact that you have a higher drive. You might need to be challenged to believe that "having no drive" is not a disease to be cured.
As you work through this, and start fixing everything else that's wrong, the true extent of her libido problem will reveal itself. Once this happened to us, we were able to have a much happier marriage with a lot more sex even though my W still doesn't feel desire until 5 minutes into foreplay. We just acknowledged that "this is our system" and figured out ways to work with it instead of fighting it.
If you live in Dallas, you might want to look at the counseling center at Unity church off 75 & Meadow Rd. I'm have no experience with them but both of the head counsellors there have been certified with the Schnarch crucible techniques above and beyond the minimum requirements. BTW. David Schnarch wrote Passionate Marriage...a highly recommended book on this site. Reading it will alleviate a lot of your anxiety.
good luck.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
