Don't know what to do anymore

[nightrunner]

Yes. The things in her list come at different times, when I meet one request, another request comes. It is a moving target.

We may have sex once a week, when I initiate. Once a month if she does. The problem is not only the frequency, but the total intimacy of our marriage. There is little kissing, holding, touching; and if a sexual encounter starts one more time with 'If you want it, you'd better come on, before I go to sleep', I think I'll say that I would rather MB!

And I do plenty of MBing to try to keep my desire down. It does not really work. I do not crave the sexual release, but the closeness with my wife.

Also, she really enjoys the sex when we do have it. She fully admits that part.

When we first started dating, we used to have sex all the time. After marriage, the LD started. This has been an issue for 11 years.

I do not want to have an affair, I do not want to get a divorce.

Let me rephrase, If a divorce did not involve going broke for the next 15 years, and paying for two residences, and only seeing my kids 3 days out of the week, then it might be more appealing.