busting

[Wendylon]

Hi Midip,

Overall your sitch sounds great in that your problems are within M ones. As to how you'll manage to live with a gagging order, I have a couple of thoughts:

- You've shown yourself to be incredibly good at not saying certain things when you know that that is what will help you most in working towards your goal. I'm sure that that knowledge will extend to situations that aren't as dramatic as staying married or getting divorced. In other words, in time, you will be better and better at not saying things that you later wish you hadn't.

- I also think that you've become so good at analysing the effects of what you say on your H that you will become better and better at guaging how to say things more productively. I get the sense that you are a lot more sensitive to the effect on your H of your words now than you were pre-bomb. Is that true? I know you are a determined and fast learner so I don't see why that would change.

I think it is fantastic that your H is telling you that he loves you more and more. What do you tell him?

I love getting your updates. Don't stop! How are you feeling about OW at the moment. I'm sorry to bring that up but I'm curious. I see OW quite often these days--unfortunately--and I feel quite agitated for a few hours after seeing her. I wish I could be more detached and I'm wondering whether you are or whether it's still something you struggle with.

Wendy