we all have backslides (just read my archives ) - just be open with your H and explain to him (preferably in a calm moment when you haven't just torn him a new one) that you are experiencing a lot of volatile emotions and ask him to help you not be critical, but productive in your talks. You might try the mirroring/validating/empathizing exercise I posted on my thread earlier today. It's HARD, and it sounds awfully awkward, but it works, and after you get the hang of it, it doesn't sound so awkward anymore. You could do it to your H then teach it to him in an attempt to mitigate some of your outbursts - let him know that the three steps do not mean at any time that he agrees or that you expect him to. It's just a way of trying to understand someone from within their world.
I'm a bit of a one-song juke box these days, sorry. But it sounds like at the very least your H is tolerating these dressings down with a good dose of tenacity. Good for him for not retreating... and THAT'S something you can validate.
) - just be open with your H and explain to him (preferably in a calm moment when you haven't just torn him a new one) that you are experiencing a lot of volatile emotions and ask him to help you not be critical, but productive in your talks. You might try the mirroring/validating/empathizing exercise I posted on my thread earlier today. It's HARD, and it sounds awfully awkward, but it works, and after you get the hang of it, it doesn't sound so awkward anymore. You could do it to your H then teach it to him in an attempt to mitigate some of your outbursts - let him know that the three steps do not mean at any time that he agrees or that you expect him to. It's just a way of trying to understand someone from within their world.
