I am slowly getting back into the swing of things. I am going to detach and continue GAL. I was doing well with that before. I will try to focus on the positive steps I see and move ever so slowly forward. Patience, patience, patience.
Quote: I kind of gave him a timeline. I repeated to him that I would not be dealing with this during the summer. So he has until then unless I decide to leave before then.
Kind of goes against your goal of being patient! Do not think about it in terms of you having to 'deal' with it...you don't, you have to detach and take care of yourself. Your H has to deal with it...I know it is easier said than done but focus on you and your kids...plan a family vacation (come visit me! ) if H comes great, if he doesn't his loss.
Your H has no intention of leaving you, (mine either) I know you don't want to live like this but if you want your marriage to work you may have to live in limbo for a while. Read what Sage posted to JVKB...it makes so much sense.
Keep asking yourself this question: Will what I'm doing bring me closer to my goals? If the answer is no than stop doing it!
You will make it through this and you will be a stronger person because of it.
I am going to focus on the positive things for now. H has been giving me little back scratches in bed. He initiated a hug yesterday as I left for work (I said bye and turned to leave). He called today after I had a Dr.'s appt. to check on me.
Sounds like things are going better. Keep DBing. Focus on the positives coming from your H, but remember not to get TOO enthusiastic. I got too comfortable with all of my H's "ILY"s, hugs, kisses, etc, and you know how things have been so wishy-washy in my sitch. I'm not saying this will happen in yours. I'm just saying take it SLOW.
One step at a time, right? You're doing great!
JV
Valerie
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown
I am definately taking it slow. I am also not putting too much emphasis on what he is doing either. I did that before when I thought things were getting better. That is when I got the cell phone bill and the minutes were higher. So, yes I will not get my hopes up. I know that.
I am taking this one day at a time, going back to focusing on ME.
WHOOPS! Wait a minute! What I meant to say was keep focusing on yourself but try not to OVERLOOK the positives coming about in your sitch. It sounds like you're already doing this. Good for you!
Valerie
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown
Today has been good. I found out today that I got a transfer I requested for next year. I am a teacher and work at a very stressful school. So no matter what happens, this is a good thing. A friend who is at the new school (she worked with me last year at my current school) assures me I will be much happier. And there is a daycare on sight, so I will be right there with D4. She is there now and loves it. So... that is great!
I called H and told him this morning. He seemed genuinely pleased for me. Later in the day he emailed me a congrulations with a silly picture.
Another positive to post--H isn't as abrupt or seem in such a hurry to get me off the phone these days. Before it was very abrupt. I always felt like I was interrupting something. Not that we are having long, wonderful convos. Just feel like he is trying a little too.
) if H comes great, if he doesn't his loss.