J, you're getting caught up in the drama of everything and it's gotten you emotionally exhausted and tired, and on that low of the rollercoaster, you're leading H to make decisions that you may regret later, just as telling him to obtain a divorce.
All this other stuff you're posting is over analytical and the bottom line is, none of it is going to help your situation, but what it will do is keep you obsessed or focused on the drama, and that's not going to help your PMA.
Stop discussing the relationship and stop making decisions for your H. The onus has to be on him to act, not on you to prompt him to act. I am telling you that you have a history of back and forth from what I've read, and the path you're on will not bring you closer to your goals, but does seem to be furthering you from them.
For your own happiness' sake, back off and stop the pattern.
