You are so much like me...I too tried to look back to prebomb times and see what things I vetoed that H wanted. One of which was an english bulldog. My answer was, NO WAY we have two dogs already. I find it chaotic. No was my answer and I wasnt budging. Before I found DB and we were seperated I started talking about getting the bulldog. At first H said no...I know how your mind works..Dont get one. Then after a while we talked about our imaginary bulldog all the time. We even had a name picked out, that we referred to him by. Then after H moved back home, we were visiting the pet store...something we did every week because our D liked to look at the puppies and one day there were 2 bulldog pups there. We asked to see them and next thing you know we were buying a $2700 dog. People around me were telling me I was nuts for doing it, you are only trying to please H, blah blah. ANd yes I was trying to please him, but I did fall in love with the dog. At that point I was totally unsure of H's interaction with OW. But a few weeks later when that first cellphone bill came in after he moved back, I saw that not only did the contact with OW NEVER stop, he texted her while we were at the store buying the dog. Meanwhile he was kissing me because he was so elated about getting it. I was pissed when I saw that text at the very time we were at the store. I also noticed (because I feel my H suffers from depression) that whenever we were making big purchases, that is when my H showed me affection or wanted to work on our M. Its as if he knows if he wants the toys in life that he desires he has to stay with me. I am not trying to put a downer on your idea, but my advice is take it slow. I feel and felt like quite a fool when we bought a motorcycle and an expensive dog and OW did not go away. Not that I was trying to buy H's love, but I was trying to make him happy, and in the end I felt like a fool.
