He's leaving

[ValerieA]

Hi again.

H did call back about an hour later.

The convo:
H: "Hey."
Me: "Hey."
H: "Ummm, where are (S9 and S5)?"
Me: "They're at your mom's."
H: "Where's (baby)?"
Me: "He's here; he's sleeping."
H(long pause): "Where are the boys going to be tonight?"
Me: "Why don't you just ask me what you really want to ask instead of playing 20 questions?"(Yes I know - WHACK)
H: "What do I really want to ask, JV?"
Me: "You want to know if I'm going out tonight."
H: "That's not what I asked, is it? I just want to know where my children are going to be. And I'm not asking 20 questions! I've only asked a few."
Me: "You know what I meant."
H: "Where are the boys going to be tonight?"
Me: "Here. With me."
H: "Now was that so difficult to answer?"
Me: "No, it wasn't, but I just wish you would get to the point of your questioning instead of going about it in a roundabout way."

Then things get a little heated. H said this is the kind of crap that will not make things work out. H goes on to say that he's afraid of what's going to happen when he gets back from AZ. He said we weren't supposed to talk to each other while he's away, but that obviously isn't happening. Then H said, "You leave me a message saying you're thinking of me, and another one a couple days later saying you're missing me.....do you have any idea what that does to me? Do you know how hard it is for me to be out here having to hear that?" H said he doesn't know if there's anything he can do to make things better for us; he doesn't know the right answer. H said he wishes I would just hate him, yell at him, scream, etc. (I am on the verge of crying at this point.) Then H begins to tell me he's sorry for everything again. The lying, the cheating - I lose it here. I'm crying, and H said, "Please don't. Don't cry anymore. It hurts me when you do it." I said I was sorry. I wasn't trying to hurt him or anything like that. I told H that I've been afraid, too, of what might happen. I told H that I fear the worst. He asked why, and I told him that I can't help but feeling like he's mad at me. I told him how everytime we talk he just seems so annoyed, irritated, and angry with me. H was quiet for awhile. Then a customer walked up to his booth so he said he'd call me back.

H called about 10 minutes later. He said he was sorry for acting like he was upset with me all the time, and he was sorry for me crying whenever he says he's sorry. He knows that my intentions are not to make him feel bad, but he feels the need to say he's sorry all the time. He asked me to bear with him on this. I said ok, I would try. There's another call coming through on his phone, H said it's (boss), and he asked me not to hang up. H clicked over and came back a minute later. He apologized for the interruption then we talked for another 10 minutes about how things were going for him at the show, at (boss)'s place, blah blah blah. Then H said, "I've got a customer walking up. I'll talk to you later, babe. Bye." Babe?! I haven't heard that since...maybe...geez, it's been a long time! Slip of the tongue maybe? I don't know, but it was a nice small positive (I hope) to end the convo.

I had the kids call H around their usual time, but his phone was off so they left him a message. H called back about 30 minutes later, asked if I had called, and said he was sorry for not answering. His cell died so he left his booth to put it on the charger in his work-truck. He said he was sorry again, I said it was alright, and I figured that's what happened. Then the kids talked to him for awhile and hung up.

Just updating. Thanks for listening.