He's leaving

[ValerieA]

Hello.

H called this morning (I let the machine pick up) and asked me to call him to let him know if his packet from Chevron came in the mail yet. The mail wasn't here at that time, so I called H a few hours later when it did and left a voice message telling him it hadn't come but that he did get a notice for a ticket he got (which H didn't tell me about) and the fine is $200. I had thought about not mentioning it to H, but seeing how I take care of paying the bills, I have to account for where the money is going if and when H asks.

The rest of my day was going alright until about an hour ago. I had to deal with S9 and S5 going at it when we got back home from school. I'm trying something new with them. I told the boys whenever they feel like they're getting on each other's nerves to go in separate parts of the house and count to 100. They did it once a few days ago and it seemed to work. They did it again earlier and, again, it looks as if it's helping. The baby is going through teething I think. He's 7 months tomorrow - he's a late bloomer I guess! Anyway, he's been so fussy today, sticking everything in his mouth, and just wanting to be in my lap all day. I haven't had much time to do anything like laundry, cleaning, etc. So at this point, Mommy is feeling kinda stressed but trying to keep it together.

H just called a little while ago. H said hey, I said hey. H asked, "So what's up with Disneyland?" I said I told him I wasn't going. H asked, "What about the kids?" I said, "What about them? They're not going either." H started getting irritated and said, "They were promised and now they don't get to go?! Well that's just GREAT!" I said, "They were NEVER promised anything." Then he said, "Well, you didn't tell me you weren't going." I said yes I did, H said no I didn't. I stopped right there and asked H if he got my message from earlier. H said, "Yes. Isn't that just wonderful? I got a speeding ticket on my way down here, too. I wonder how much that one's going to be! Thanks for letting me know." I had enough of H and his attitude, so I interrupted and said, "I'm hanging up now because I am NOT in the mood to be vented on!" H said, "I'm not venting - " I said, "I have to go. Someone's ringing the doorbell. GOODBYE." It was MIL coming to pick up S9 and S5 to visit with her for a few hours. Anyhow, H didn't call back nor have I.

I feel very drained right now. The later part of today has not been the greatest, and H just caught me at the worst of it. I'm so frustrated. I always ask H how his day went and blah blah blah. In all the years we've been together, H has only asked me that same question ONCE. I think it was about 3 or 4 years ago. Right now I just feel so fed up with him and his cold attitude. I feel like I could call him back and say that I want him to leave when he gets back because I am so tired of his negativity, irritability, and anger with everything. It feels like it's all directed towards me. I don't know how much more patient I can try to be. Most likely, I won't do anything about it. I'm venting here instead of at H......H should be back in about a week. I'm afraid of what may happen when he does return.

Thanks for listening.