He's leaving

[ValerieA]

Thanks so much, D.

I talked to H a couple of times yesterday. The first convo was to find out when he would be back. My sister is having a birthday party for my niece at Disneyland this weekend. A bunch of our family members will be there for the entire weekend, so my sis called to see if we were going. I told her I'd have to call H then call her back. When I called him, he said he was on the other line with a customer, his phone was about to die, he really couldn't talk but asked me what was up. I told him about Disneyland, but he said that they have a show in Tucson this weekend to work. H said he told me this, but I guess I forgot. We were talking for about 5 minutes then I said, "Didn't you say you had a customer on the other line?" H said, "Uh...yeah, but he's an a**hole. Ummm, I'm with (boss) right now so let me call you later."

When I called him, he said he was on the other line with a customer, his phone was about to die, he really couldn't talk...

Before my discovery of H's A, this was H's exact dialogue to get off the phone with me. It was always the same, only if it wasn't a customer then it was his boss. This along with his "Uh"s, "Umm"s, staying on the phone with me for 5 minutes when there is supposed to be a "customer" on the other line, and then calling me back almost immediately makes me wonder......

Back to the convo. H called back within about 30 seconds (I guess his customer hung up). I said I thought he told me his phone was dying. H said he plugged it in. He didn't sound like he was with (boss) anymore if at all. Anyway, H said if I wanted to take the kids to Disneyland then ok, but he would've liked to be able to go, too. I said, "Well, then I won't go. We can all go some other time." H said alright. He also told me that he won't be back for at least another week and a half. Then he asked me what was the deal with my message from the other night. I asked what did he mean, and H asked, "Well, what did you do that for?" I told him, "I don't know really. I just....It's really hard being alone." Then H said very quietly with tears behind his words, "You're going to have to be strong." I said I'm trying to be. H said he had to go so we said goodbye.

H called again after 8pm. Instead of getting a "hello" when I answered, I got an irritated, "Weren't you going to have the kids call me?" I said, "Yes. They were going to call you in about 10 minutes." H said, "Let me talk to them NOW." So they did then they hung up.

Things are not sounding good at all. There are no more "ILY"s or "IMY"s coming from H. He always seems to be annoyed or upset when talking to me. He's using the pre-bomb excuses again. Him telling me "You're going to have to be strong" has me a bit scared.

I'm going back to not calling H at all. No more occasional "IMY" calls - I only did that twice. What is it called? Going dark? No contact except for where the kids are concerned. I won't even answer the phone. I'll let the machine pick up. If it's H, then the kids can answer and hang up when they're through talking with their dad.

Thanks for listening.