I am in need of some SERIOUS advice right now! Please! Anyone!
I went to get S5 and his friend from school. When I returned home, there was a message on the machine. The boys are off and playing. I listened to the message, it was H.....
Let me go back to February during Super Bowl weekend when we were in Reno. We had gotten into an argument (an unnecessary one at that) one night while there. H took off to go gamble, and I went to our room. I was so upset with everything going on. This was only a week after finding out about his A. I felt like screaming out loud but didn't. So I wrote kind of a letter to H about everything I was ANGRY, frustrated, confused, and depressed about. I cried the whole time and everything I wrote was based on my emotions at that time. I was mostly mad when I wrote that letter, and in it I said that I couldn't handle anymore and I wanted a D......After calming down for an hour or so, I reread the letter and knew I wasn't going to give it to H. So I folded it and stuck it in my suitcase.
Back to today. H FOUND THE LETTER! He needed an extra suitcase for his trip, so I let him use mine obviously forgetting all about the letter I had written almost 2 months ago.
H's message today: He said he's calling me now (at the house) because he knows I'm picking up S5 so we wouldn't have to talk. H said he's very sorry for everything he's ever done to cause me hurt and says he found the note. He didn't know if it was something I was planning on giving him at a later date or if I put it there intentionally for him to read it. H mentioned where I wrote that I couldn't deal with things anymore, that I wanted a D, and (I had forgotten about this) how everytime I looked at him I was reminded of what he did and how it made me feel sick to my stomach. H said he didn't feel too good right now and was getting ready for work. He said, "I'm sorry, I really am. I don't know what else to say," then he hung up.
I need to call him, but what more can I say other than feelings change? I can't believe I forgot about that letter let alone had it in the suitcase he took with him! I feel like this is a HUGE setback! What can I do? HEEELLLPPP!!!!!
Valerie
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown
