H just left to go help our mutual friend move the rest of his things into his new condo, so he'll be back in an hour or two.
H started ANOTHER R talk earlier. It was the "same old same old" stuff as usual. I'm running out of things to say to him. So tonight I just asked, "Did you talk to (best friend) and (mutual friend) the other night when you went to (the farewell party)?" H said yes. I asked what they had to say expecting H to not tell me details. H said, "Not much.....I guess I was looking for advice but got none." H said that (bf) said, "If you're not happy, then you gotta do what you gotta do, but all I can say is that you've got it all. You've got what every m'f'er wants - an awesome wife, good kids, a house, cars, everything." H said (mf) said that whatever he can help out with, just let him know. (mf) said he was going to be there for H and me regardless of what happens. I know these guys pretty well, and this is what I imagined they would say to H if he ever did talk to them. I just don't know if they were told specifics. I know it doesn't matter anyway.
Well, I did suggest to H that maybe we should take a break from each other and everything else while he's in AZ. I said let's not talk at all except for where the kids are concerned. H said, "I'll want to talk to them every night." I said, "Of course! I'll have them call you as usual." H said, "Well...I might want to talk to you, too." I told H, "I need a break, H, and I know you could use one, too. I thought we agreed to do this not even a week ago, but that went out the window the very next day. Constantly talking about our problems everyday is stressing me out big time, and I know it's doing the same to you. So let's just take a breather please. This is not a separation - just a break from everything. Do you want to think about it first?" H said yes, so I dropped the subject. About an hour later, H said, "I want to do what you said. I think it's a good idea." So I said ok.
I hope this helps the sitch. I might go crazy every now and then while H is gone, wondering what he's doing and all, but I know we really need this time with no contact. I'm hoping H will come back with a much clearer mind and have a better idea of what he really wants. I KNOW what I want. No matter what the outcome is, I am ready to go either way.
Thanks for listening.
Valerie
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown
