He's leaving

[ValerieA]

Sportster - Thanks for stopping by, and I hear ya loud and clear. I know what my mom would say to H if she knew about all this, but at least it was his mom putting it nicely! I wish I knew what H told our mutual friend who he is considering moving in with. Probably not much.

It's almost 6am here. I just fed the baby. H got home around 1:30am from playing cards. I had fallen asleep on the couch while watching some TV. H was on his phone when he walked in. I asked who he was talking to, and he said so-and-so (another friend). H always has the volume on his cell on high, so I can almost always hear the voice and sometimes the convo going on. I got up and went to bed. H followed behind, still on his phone. I was in bed already, H was getting ready to get in too, and I could hear (friend) say, "So...can you talk right now?" H said, "Umm...not really." Then I hear (friend) say, "Well, all I'm going to say is this.....", then H turned the volume down for about 20 seconds, turns it back up, and said, "Yeah. Alright. I'll talk to you later." Ok, obviously it was something H did not want me to hear. I don't know for sure, but I think this friend (who has been friends with H for over 13 years) might know about what has happened. There were times after the A when H and I would be talking while (friend) was there, and before anything got heated, H would say right in front of him, "I don't want to talk about this in front of (friend)." This happened enough for (friend) to be able to catch on that something may be wrong with us. Like I said, they've been friends for a long time, and H would probably consider him to be his best friend. This friend has told my H (who then told me) in the past 6 months that he envies what H has at home. A GREAT wife , great kids, a nice home, etc. He told H that he would kill to have what he has. There was one time, not too long ago, when this friend actually told me with H right there how he felt. He said, "You do him good, JV, and he's the luckiest SOB there is." Wow, I wonder what was going through H's mind at that time since he had already started the A then.

Anyway, H got in bed and asked if he could hold me. I said yes. After a minute, H said weepily, "I'm sorry, JV.....I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through. You're so perfect - " I said that I am NOT perfect. H continued on saying that I deserve someone so much better than him, he was quiet for a minute, then he said "ILY". I said it, too. I was falling back asleep, but I think I heard H say that he has to go to AZ on Monday, and he's not sure how long he will be gone.

So now it's Saturday. H said he would be out by Sunday. I have no idea what is going to happen. All I know is that for the past couple of days, he seemed to act like he was ready to go, but after this early morning, I don't know which way he will go.

Thanks for listening, everyone.