Cally It hit me big time over the last two weeks. 1. when he got so angry, after me initiating sex, that I actually thought he was going to hit me, and I go very frightened. 2. Last week he told me that I was as annoying as the pain in his back, that gutted me beyond belief.
So the day after I stayed home from work. I decided that this was just not worth it anymore. The sex we have is no longer quality sex, and now it has been 7 months since we had sex. Last year we only had sex 3 x's, I refuse to call it love making any more, because it isnt, it gets to such a point that I am climbing the walls so much that I feel he gives pity sex, which cannot be classed as ml, I have to do all the work. So the question I asked myself was...Why do I want to have sex with this man?.....well the answer that came back was because I dont sleep around, and am a one man woman, he is the only man I will have sex with. But its too much hard work, Love making, sex or whatever you want to call it is something you share with someone together, and both want it. Well he doesnt, so I have given up, I have thrown all the condoms away, this is a big thing for me because even it I 'fell off the wagon' then I couldnt do anything anyway. I have to say that this week as been brilliant for me, I have only cried about the situation, usually around 4/5 x's a week. I have left him to make his own tea, and sort himself out. If he questions anything down the line, I will ask him to look at our back garden *negleted, weedy, uncared for(I hate gardening)* I will then ask him why its like that....I will then say well thats just like our relationship, you get back what you put in, and this is what you are left with...deal with it!!
then I couldnt do anything anyway.