I'm not going to jump on the "it's all about her problems" bandwagon. I think your W is dead on with her observations. I think you do pretend.

Here are some limited suggestions: Don't make jokes when you feel uncomfortable. Resist the urge to come here to diss your W (or get others to do it for you) instead of telling her upfront and IN PERSON how you really feel. Stop trying to find the "right" way to be and how to say things to keep her from finding out about the real you. Stop looking for just the right putdown. All are great ways to prevent emotional intimacy. To keep someone from getting too close.

Seems like whenever your W may have hit a nerve, you come here looking for folks to tell you how wrong she is. And you stay stuck. So turn that upside down. What if she's right?

You've got good impression management skills. I hope your C is good enough to recognize them and get past them. I don't doubt that your W has her own problems. But she's not as good at impression management, so I have lots of hope for her.

But I don't think you really want to hear that your W may have a point. Bring on the "yes, buts...."