I just pull this off of AJScott's thread in newcomers, I was thinking of you (and me) when I read it...check out his thread.
Quote: There really wasn't any anger to work thru. There was hurt and disappointment for me that she had an emotional and sexual affair, but I was probably more to blame for that than she was. Mostly, our problem was due to a lot of neglect caused by almost 20 years of a million piddly little resentments that should have been buried when they died in the first place. For us (more for my wife, tho), that was the toughest part -- burying those resentments. The only way to do that, tho, is to realize and accept that what was done was done and you can't change yesterday -- but you CAN change today and tomorrow. Putting a stop to blaming each other for a zillion wrongs (both real and perceived) is, to me, THE key to rebuilding your life.
