I guess I have been trying to sort myself out and figure out what I want.
This week was bad. My H has always had a temper. I have lived with it but this week for the first time, he scared me. He has never hurt me or the kids. But this week was bad. On Thursday, I found out he messed with my phone which made me mad. He erased ow #. I wasn't mad about that, I really don't care about her anymore. I am beginning to think that she can have him. I was mad that he had the nerve to mess with my phone. His phone is hidden at ALL times unless he is wearing it. He would be furious if I dared to touch his phone. Well, he had the audacity to get mad at me, when I questioned him about it.
This was the 2nd time he lost control this week.
On Saturday after being cussed out, I decided to leave. I packed me and the kids up and went to a hotel. My mom phoned his parents who did not know up to this point. They called me and said there is nothing he could say that would put them on his side. They were behind me 100%. So they drove down (4 hours, mind you) Sunday morning to talk to him. He was not happy, he was furious. I came home on Sunday to sort things out before they left. We are basically at a stalemate. But, his parents did see how unreasonble he is and they saw his anger in full force. They asked him to leave the house and let me and the kids stay (at one point he refused to leave). They stated over and over that he needed counseling. He agreed!!!!!! He called our pastor today to set up an appt.
Anyway, I am just exhausted mentally and physically. For now, he is home. His parents left, it came down to me keeping my mouth shut about everything or him leaving. I said for the kids sake I would keep my mouth shut. If I do that H is fine. I am just so tired of keeping it all inside. I will do it until summer though. I can see how this is affecting the kids. I want them to have some normalcy. If I keep things in check, then all will be okay.
I will see where things are at the beginning of June.
I am losing the will to fight and losing a lot of feelings for him. Part of me is ready for this to be over. What is sad, is before I would be crying after typing that statement. Not today. I am becoming numb inside.
Sorry for the long post. Believe me this isn't even half of what has happened this week.
