Things are about the same. H is definately more willing to talk on the phone now. He even texted me yesterday after work asking what I was doing. He has emailed me the last 2 days at work. So.. I will keep plugging along.
NO expectations and GAL!!!!!!!!!!
Going to the gym today, my body will probably protest since it has been awhile.
Russ, you haven't posted in ages. How are you doing and what is going on with you?
I have started a new journal of sorts. Divorce section. If I knew how to link I would. Just search "russ" and it should pop up. Just got back from a bike ride. I pick S6 from schoool in about 15 minutes and we shall go for a ride this afternoon. (I'm on holidays this week)
I will check out your thread later tonight and respond to your sitch. I have been thinking and worrying about you.
No news really. Yesterday on the way home I met up with H. He was trying to get in my lane and I slowed and gestured for him to get in front of me. He smiled and did. He was not on the phone, so that was nice to see.
He had a terrible morning. We both pass train tracks on the way to school. When I left there was a train but the cars were not connected and the intersection wasn't blocked. When H left they were connecting the cars back and not moving. So, he went another way and encountered the same thing. He had to drive about 20 minutes in the opposite direction of work to get passed the train. He was furious. I hope he was on the phone with ow. She would have got an earful. Although, it wouldn't have been directed at her but still, one can hope. I mean he was still going on about it later that day. He called after he pulled in front of me on the way home to complain about someone who was going to slow. Then he started in on the train and he was still cursing about.
I feel like you and I are in the same boat right now. Although my H has not said the words I want to work this out, his actions tell me otherwise, but at the same time OW is still very much in the picture.
I have my good and bad days with it. Somedays I wonder if this continues H will think that this is fine and never stop the behavior, then I read DB and posts from here and say it could change just keep doing what you are doing. It is so confusing!
I hope for your sake and mine that this is the right thing. That by acting as if it is all being worked out, still knowing OW is in pic that things will get better in the end.
Just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you. Sun
I think the only thing that the keeps me going now is the fact that he is trying (hugging, an ocassional kiss, physical contact) and acting more like the old H. He seems a little different. I can't say what it is exactly, less angry, more happy. I don't know. I can't get my hope up, though. I know that.
This is still hard. There are times when I just want to say forget this, I am ready to move on, to have someone want me the way H used to. I try really hard to push those thoughts out. I know they don't help.
I read on someone's post recently about just wanting this to all go away, the feelings, the pain, etc. just for a day. I have had those thoughts more and more lately. I wonder if my H senses that from me. I think since he came back I have detached even more than before. I don't initiate as many hugs or much anything for that matter.
Sorry for the rambling. Lots of thoughts in my head. Sometimes I am just as confused as H.
Sherry, There are still some mornings I wake up crying, half sleeping and say i just want to go home. i just want to wake up in my house with h and this was all a really bad dream that I learned al lot from!
You think it's bad that YOU wake up some mornings and hope this was all a nightmare.....my D8 said the same thing tonight! She's 8!! She's a bright one I must say. She also said she didn't cry when we told them Sunday night because she was just sad, she said "it just was just a shock because I had no idea there were problems like this at my house."
The worst question tonight......so can I still call him Daddy? And what if he gets married to someone else someday? Will I still be able to call him Daddy then? Poor thing. I want to tell my H what she said. Make him suffer a little.
I know my sitch is better than some. I got sad tonight reading some others that are going through so much more. You guys are great. Hang in there and keep fighting. One day you will be with your Hs in a much better R.
Another positive for me. Like I said tonight I got sad (raging hormones at the moment). I put my head down on the desk when H came in to ask if I was done on the computer. He saw me and said what's wrong. I, of course, said nothing. Didn't want to go there with H (no R talks right). So he pulls me up and drags me to the bed. He starts rolling with me trying to cheer me up by being silly. He again says Hi (special pet name--it is special because before if I responded back Hi --- he would always give me a kiss)So, I, of course say, Hi---. He kisses me and we just look at each other for a moment. Then reality comes crashing in "Moooooommyyyyyy"
I have been feeling this need to escape for awhile. To just get away and not be mommy, not DB, just be get away from it all. I am afraid H will get mad if I do and worried he wouldn't be up to watching the kids for a whole weekend. He never has.
What would the neatest thing you could do in one day then. Or a half day. with me races come to mind. The are self adsorbing, The world is gone you become Sherry against the rest of them. What is your home town and I shall find a race and enter you.It will be a race I know you can complete and be successful. I live in Kelowna British Columbia, Canada. You? I will be your on line coach, your kids the cheering group. H water boy. very important to have a water boy. Where I live is an alpine desert, very dry. You're in Texas? Hotter but more humid?
come on it will be fun and you will remember, it will be positive.....Think of the look from H when you tell him......
On a positive note. Be strong, be true. be loving.
Poor thing. I want to tell my H what she said. Make him suffer a little. 