He is still confused. But, I think he has really thought about what life will be like with ow and realized it might not be what he thought it would. He told me he still has feelings for her. I asked if he would end it and he said he didn't know how (this is huge--it has always been I cant). I repeated what I wanted and that I could not continue the way things were and that I needed to move on. I told him I did not want him to come back for a little while then leave again, he had to choose. He said he would not leave again.
He sounded different this afternoon. He really talked to me about things and what he is feeling and his doubts about ow and their R (which was sooo hard to sit and listen to, but I did and didn't say much). He talked to my mom, too. He is not sure he can deal with her kids (says her son is a brat), he doesn't like her mother and loves my family (his words today), he is also afraid she would be too dependent on him (and here I have been showing him I can GAL ). I think at this point I think he is just worried about her and how she will do without him. He told my mom that she is terrified of losing him. Wow, she must be very dependent, just last year at this time she had a fiance. My mom told him that ow survived without him before he came along.
Anyway, he did some serious thinking. I think he is still worried about us. He told my mom that I had changed over the last four months but he is worried I can't keep doing it and will regress. My mom told him that it takes two and he would have to work at the M too. He actually agreed with her.
I am going to try and not have expectations at this point. I realize he may not be able to end it with ow and I will be back to square one. I know that just like everything changed today it could change again for the worst.
But, hopefully we slowly starting rebuilding our R now. I will take this slooooow and one day at a time.
).
