Actually the discussion is fine. I think that you are somewhat jaded Dogma. But I don't think your attitude is wrong. You are divorced from your wife, you're not looking for signs or raising your hopes, but if things should develop then they develop, but you're not holding your breath. That's fine. I would probably take the same tact. Like you I know I wasn't the most terrible of husbands...but unlike you I realize that my wife is entitled to her opinions about me and our marriage. She doesn't feel like she's in love. If I was the one not in love I wouldn't want to be married either, even if she was a good woman.
I want to address this:
Quote: A few days of silence then a request for a lunch date? Hmmm, sounds a bit extreme in terms of going dark then requesting intimacy. Maybe see how this experiment goes, then try to sit tight a bit longer, working on yourself, and pursuing interests that you may have set aside for a while?
Possibly extreme, but my attitude is this: I am already separated and possibly headed for divorce, there is nothing worse going to come of going to lunch with my wife. Essentially my attitude is "what do I have to lose". I will keep it light and if that still has a negative impact then I won't ask again. But if you remember from early on in this thread...going dark was perceived by my wife as more of the same. I'm just rolling the dice. I'll let you know. Wish me luck. My attitude of the day...confident.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
