I validated that I understand this is painful for her. And that's not fake....it is hard for her. What I didn't say was that I don't understand why she is in such a hurry for divorce. This whole thing doesn't make sense to me. I can't figure out why I'm moving farther away from the goal. It's not being friends. We've done well with that...so I don't get it.
I did call and tell her that I could find the stuff she wanted. She called after that and asked if I wanted to go to dinner with them. I declined. I talked to her again and she asked again if I was sure I didn't want to go. I repeated that I didn't. My s-son wanted to come over instead of going to dinner so she dropped him off and the interaction with her was okay.
I think the best thing to do if I wanted to achieve my goals is to change them....
Goal1: I'll be divorced by the end of April.
I think that should be easy enough to attain. I'll probably be ahead of schedule. Divorce isn't any different than what I have now so it's no big deal.
Sage, I've monitored. The only thing I can think is that this being around her, even when things are great is not working. It may even be worse when things are great. I've had a fair amount of contact and she just won't quit talking about divorce. Part of this is anger on my part, but I do think I need a lot less interaction with her. I'll still care for her and still want to be her friend, just not the kind of friend that I hang out with whenever she wants to.
Well everything is set. I'm off to Denver this weekend. Yes, I told her since she's watching the dog. I'm going to have fun.
Koshka, I'm not sure what's worse...being friends or being enemies. Being friends is too much like being married. And the really positive interactions just makes you wish for more of her. And then what happens is you get shot down or she talks about D continuously and it hurts worse. Frankly I'm getting sick of this. The interaction feels too fake to me. If we were that great of "friends" she would consider my wishes too. As she said herself "men and women can't be close friends". Well if she doesn't want more than friendship then she can find someone else. Because I want more. I want someone that genuinely wants to be around me and has an open mind about moving to the next step.
Wes
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
