I'm going back to the beginning of when things were good and got ugly. Try to figure out what worked or didn't and get some insight/help in turning things around for me.
Good: One week after wife moved out....started talking about being confused, considering just a two month break, "not exactly separated", "I'm thinking things about you I shouldn't be...maybe I'm just horny", etc. -this was preceded by me helping her with the move -still interacting friendly (but not physically) with her/ -starting some of GAL -appearing happy -having family night out....together with all of us
Things worse: Suggesting strongly getting a divorce, trying to work through details of divorce, interacting less. She was less friendly. Preceded by: -too physical or suggesting physical stuff -too much effort at GAL...too many changes to house -FF -Very little interaction, especially after a more emotionally charged interaction. -Forcing her to tell me her feelings -Reading my thread and getting the sense I'm "hanging on to slim hope" and it's just hurting me.
So my feelings what to do: 1) Show through action only that I love her (no forcing any kind of R talk) 2) Avoid letting her know I'm holding out hope...I just want to be around her as her friend 3) Not too much distance....no humungous changes (or did that help???) Get her opinion on big things??? 4) Previously had good interactions at informal "dates"...ie spur of the moment dinner or brunch. No advance planning of dates...or formally asking out. 5) Joking around even about touchy subjects seems to go over pretty well.
HOPE
Journaling: Nothing new. Wife is off to parents for Easter. Gave me a hug before leaving. I asked her to call to let me know they all arrived okay. No word since (but they aren't there yet...so we'll see).
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
