I've been lurking around for awhile and thought it's finally time to get down to business. My wife and I have been married 4 1/2 years, both our second marriage. Both with kids of our own. Most of the problems in our relationship in fact centered around the kids. Basically she felt I was too hard on hers and too easy on mine. True, I think, because I never fully committed to taking her kids into my heart. Actually slightly before the bomb and ever since the bomb I have learned how to open my heart to them and we have a good relationship. It's been rewarding and even though newly divorced I still want to see them as often as possible.
My wife was a more or less typical WAW. The typical "I love you, but not in love with you" type thing. I initially pursued, but after following DB I tried not to. Yes, I've read DB, DR, and listened to the tapes. I'm not sure if I didn't do a little too much of the LRT. We came really close sometimes to working towards getting back together, then the bottom always seemed to fall out. My mistake I think was that while she cared for me, she didn't want to give me false hope. I pushed too much. She indicated she would never come back and filed for divorce. By that time I felt if that was the only way to make her happy I would willingly give her freedom. I'm surprised it went through so quickly. It really still comes as a shock that we went from bomb to separated but friendly to divorced in 3 months. Incredible!!!
Okay, so now here I am, still in love with my wife, but with a distant feeling. I feel like since I let her go that I don't think about her as much as I used to and don't want to try initiating things until she does. I would like to re-marry her if possible, but how do I achieve this if we have no contact. We did leave things as friends. There was no animosity, but still I haven't heard from her. So much happened so fast that I didn't even really GAL until now. So now I find myself trying things to GAL but that's also difficult.
I am happy with myself. I made the changes to me that I wanted to make and am trying really hard to keep the positives going. I'm hoping someday she notices and finds me attractive again. What else can I do?
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
