When will H's indecision end?

[ValerieA]

My old thread (What happens now?) finally locked up on me.

D, thanks for your advice on that last post. So here's what happened: My friend ended up working last night, but I didn't tell H that. When I finally got back home from dropping the kids off around 7pm, H walked in about 10 minutes later. I was in the bedroom getting dressed to go out (by myself) then he comes in there too. H asked what I was doing. I said I'm going out. He asked where and with who. I said I'm going with so-and-so (both of which are SINGLE friends - he knows this - and, yes, I lied ) but I didn't know where they were taking me. H said, "Well, I don't think I'm going to Fresno tonight. Want to do something?" I still can't believe I actually did this, but I said, "No. I already made plans to go out with so-and-so. Sorry." H said after a looooong pause, "Well, will you call me to let me know where you're going when you find out?" Then I said (while putting on some Victoria's Secret body spray - he LOVES this stuff), " I don't know, I have to go. I'm running late!" He appeared to have a worried look on his face. Then he said in a mopey tone, "I hope you have fun. You deserve it. Call me if you want. I don't know, maybe I will just go to Fresno tonight. I have to pick up (co-worker) if we do end up going. You can call me on my cell, alright?" I said ok and told him to drive safely then left. I ended up just hanging out at another friend's place for several hours, had a couple drinks, and had fun! I never called H though. I guess I just didn't feel like it. About 2 hours after I left the house, my cell rings, I know it's got to be H, but I don't answer. In fact, I turned my phone off completely! I got home just before 1am. H and his co-worker had left earlier for Fresno. I know this because H left a message on the answering machine telling me about it and also saying he hopes I'm having fun, and he wishes I would call him since I wasn't answering my cell. I still didn't call him.

H just called about an hour ago and asked why I never called him back. I told him I got in pretty late, I was tired, so I just went to bed. H asked, "Well, what did you do?" I said, "We went out and had drinks and had fun!" H said, "Where did you go? And how come you didn't answer your phone?" I said, "You called? Huh...I never heard it ring." Then I quickly changed it to, "How's your morning going so far?" He tells me, and I listen. Then there's another long pause from him - I feel another R talk coming on. H said with a shaky voice, "You hate me, don't you?" I said, "No. Why would you think that?" H said, "Because I've ruined everything in your life....I don't know what to do. Whether I stay with you or leave, I know I'm going to hurt you either way. I feel like you're going to hate me no matter what happens. I just wish I knew what to do. I wish I could take back every bad thing I've ever done to you." I told him, "You've got so much going on in your mind, and it's got to be so confusing and stressful for you. I don't hate you, H. I never have and never will. If you decide to stay, the only way I'm going to be hurt is if you're here and you don't want to be here. If you leave, yeah, I'll be hurt, but I'll get through it and I'll be ok." H said, "I don't want to talk about this anymore." I said, "Ok, take it easy. I hope your day goes well." Then H said, "What are you doing tonight?" I told him I might go out again (this is true - my friend who had to work last night wants to do something tonight). Another long pause. H said, "If we can knock out these installs and I'm able to get one that's scheduled for tomorrow done today, and I can leave (co-worker) here to do the one by himself tomorrow, would you be willing to come and get me so we (H and I) can go out and do something tonight?" I said, "I don't know. Maybe." H said, "Well, let me get back to work, and I'll call you later to let you know what's up." Then we said goodbye.

I kind of wanted to tell him "no" since I already told him that I might be going out with my friend tonight, but I was afraid that if I did that, would that have been detaching too much? Turning H down two nights in a row? Hmmm...any thoughts please?

Thanks for listening.