Thanks HP I appreciate it. H seems to act as though everything is behind him. He wants to move full steam ahead with the building of our house. He says that things have been great over the past couple of months and that he doesn't expect for things to go back to the way they were. I was really happy to hear that but it just goes to show how warped his sense of time is and was. Things have only gotten better over the past few weeks but I have been doing 180's now for a few months. Maybe he has only started feeling safe to express his happiness to me in the past couple of weeks but has felt the changes for a couple of months now.
I can only speculate. However, I know that it feels good to be told ILU and to be able to say it back. On Sat. night H said I love you and I mean it in the way that I couldn't say it before. I was overjoyed with that. He also said that I can initiate with the ILU's. I don't have to wait for him to say it first. This was one of my hesitations. I used to be the one who always said ILU's every morning, every night, etc. This was a huge 180 for me to stop. So I wasn't sure when I should resume to be the one to initiate this. I have gotten the greenlight but I am still not going to overdo it. I want to give him the chance to say it first.
As for my snooping I am still doing a little, still a little skeptical myself. What I have found has turned out to be nothing. As I posted before I found a calling card with 500 minutes. So yesterday I asked if he had seen mine around so I could call my sister who lives outside of the country he said no but then dug into his wallet and handed me his. I didn't even ask for it or about it. He said he had bought it because he thought his work cell phone would be roaming when he was out of town for work and he wanted to use it to call me. See how far off base I was. I can have a wild imagination if I let it run. Note to self: keep a hold on that. Only time will allow for any suspicions I have to slip away. It makes me feel good when I actually get an answer to any of my suspicsions and they are stomped dead in their track.
Anyways, I am going to continue to post. I think that this is a good place for me to still track and charter our successes and I am sure there will be a few backslides as well. But I have come to find that you can never have to much information and knowledge about this subject, especially when it comes to something so important as your family. I will never take my S for granted again! Plus keeping up with these message boards help to keep the subject on the forefront of your mind.
