IHJ-

Thanks for the great advice. That is so true. I don't know if I can trust myself. I think I would know if things started to go bad but I am just so scared that I will be blindsided again. It was such a gradual process that took place to get us to the point we were at. I am scared that one day I am going to wake up and H is going to say that he was just fooling himself into thinking he loved me and that he just thought it was the right thing to do.

I know this is my insecurity talking but I still can't help but wondering. Keeping this on the forefront of my mind keeps me in check with my actions but at the same time makes me nervous. Hopefully with time this anxiety will go away. In the meantime we are still going strong. We are going to meet with a couple of builders this weekend to look at log homes. This is a big deal because if we build it will be on his families property. He will not do this unless he is 100% sure that it is the right thing. There is too much to lose for him if we build and things don't work out.
-B