Congratulations on your successes...what great progress you have made! Regarding the trust issue, I know you are focused on whether you should trust H again, but maybe the thing to do is search inside and find your trust within yourself ( you trusting you). You mentioned you were taken by surprise by your H's bomb, but now see you may have not been as happy as you thought you were. Can you remember how it felt? Would you be able to recognize when things are not going as well between you and H? Take good notice of the wonderful changes that are occurring now and drink them in...trust yourself that you will notice if there is some kind of shift.
Beyond that, I think it is wise to have some sort of preventative program going on, a time when you and H can check in with each other. I think a small degree of snooping/checking in on H is a good thing as long as it doesn't become obsessive.
