Well, we had another good day. I actually wouldn't say good but not bad either. That is 5 in a row. Although a couple of things struck me weird last night. My H was joking around about me giving him the cold shoulder I said hey now that's not fair. He chuckled and said we'll see how long that lasts. He then preceeded to say just because we have been getting along lately doesn't mean that I still don't have thoughts. I asked what that meant and he said that he still had doubts. I agreed and said I would expect him to. He then turned and said ok Dr. Philus.
I understand that he is skeptical about the change but I hope that that is all there is. I hope he is not just putting on an act-I don't know why he would at this point. I guess I am just so scared about being blind sided again. I didn't realize the problems we had until it all blew up in my face. I am also wondering if there might be a bit of depression that he is dealing with. The C said it sounded like there were some self worth issues going on. If so I am not sure how to handle that. I have read the chapter in DR and he has already said he would not get on medication. He doesn't want to "be numb to the world." The strange thing is when I brought it up he did not deny it and this is a very proud and outspoken man. I guess we will let the C address this one.
Maybe I am just overanalyzing everything at this point. I should just be happy with as far as we have come over the past couple of weeks. We'll see how tonight goes.
He hasn't brought up any guilt issues recently but more "pent up anger" as he has said.
I am trying to walk that fine line of letting him have his space and showing him that I care and am interested in him. Any ideas of something nice that I could do for him that wouldn't be going overboard? I am trying to be a little more subtle about things so he doesn't feel so overwhelmed by change.
Thanks guys I feel that we are headed on the right track. I really appreciate all of the feedback.
