The part about him saying he is the bad guy jumped out at me also. So I am very curious what he feels guilty about.
I know I am the higher drive spouse and my husband the lower. I can tell you over the years a lot of resentment builds. It's not like a sudden thing. It eats at you daily and then daily turns to weekly and weekly to monthly. You start to become critical of the other spouse and spend way to much time stewing and thinking. You feel unwanted and undesired and it hurts. You feel trapped to a life or boundary that you never wanted. I know for me I feel like my husband doesn't put me first. I feel he doesn't care about my needs. I often feel he doen't even love me.
I think it is great you are willing to work on it. I would tell him about the books you are reading and just how much you are willing to work on the marriage.
