OK-For all of you HD folks out there, I need some advice. I have just recently found my HD before was LD but it took my H telling me how unhappy he is and doesn't know if he wants to stay married.

Here is my sitch very briefly. H recently told me the whole I love you but am not in love with you line. He has had past HD vs LD talks but I never got it through my head. I was so stressed out over everything else I had to do including a very demanding job.

I fear I am too late. This problem has overflowed into the emotional side of our M. He now says he feels there is something missing. I can't help but think it all doesn't come back to the ssm. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I want to make it up to him but how. The first week we ML every day and some days even twice. Then all of a sudden it stopped. He said it was like a punch in the nose. Too much at once. He also said that there is nobody else. It bothered him that ML was the only thing we were working on. Although I feel the other issues are directly related. I can understand how he can be skeptical about me changing-but why not enjoy it.

I have read the 1st chapter of SSM and also DR several times but I am wondering is it too late? Some days he wants me to touch him other days no. I never know which day will be which. Also afterwards he says he feels guilty because it is just physical at this point and he knows that it means more to me. What is this all about?

From what I got out of the 1st Chapter is that there is a lot of anger and resentment built up over this issue. If only I could have realized it before.

Also, just a bit of advice for you men with a LDW. TELL HER, TELL HER TELL HER. Beat her over the head with it if you need (not literally...LOL). Let her know how unhappy it is making you. To the point that you do not know if you want to continue a M like this. Then give her the book. I bet you things would be a lot better in my case had my H done this to me. I just didn't realize what it meant to a man. I thought it was more like an itch that needed to be scratched every once in a while, and we ML about 1 a week. Not even a severe case from what I have read. But it was for him! I now understand that.

Please help with any advice. You can check out my thread in the newcomers forum under 7 year itch? not in love with me? help!

Any suggestions on how to approach him? Why doesn't he want it now all the time? Is he trying to play games with my mind to make me feel like he has felt the past couple of years? Could this be what is missing-if so does he not realize it? Thanks for any feedback! I would love to hear what a HD man has to say!
-Bananas