This is a great list but I guess the problem that bothers me with the "strong yet knows how to cry" is that the timing of this seems to be on a whim and sounds contradictory. The worst part of the whole thing is that we as males should instinctively know when these times are.
Sorry to vent but for myself I find it difficult at best to know what my W wants. Dont know about anyone else but I find that most times I miss the mark almost completly.
As was said by others here, I think it is best to do what is right form me and hope that it does not get taken the wrong way.
Comming from a man who is trying to be a man of steel / tin foil.
I cry when I feel like it! My wife doesn't expect it, and that is why she feels bad when I do. No pity party here. I don't call myself a manly man, however, Man is fine for me. I think you need to like football and stuff to be a manly man.
Here is a simple picture that we have all probably seen.
A burning building in the background, the fireman, face blackened from soot, standing just outside the building, a baby in his hands, tears rolling down his cheek.
I realize that is an extreme example.
We all have weaknesses, strengths and other issues, but what I think HP likes most about her husband is that he is willing to face up to his responsibilities in a forthright manner. His willingness to address his issues, strengths, weaknesses, and not run from it, or avoid the repercussions, is what makes him strong.
A manly man doesn't run from conflict.
If you are strong day in and day out, then a willingness to expose a vulnerability becomes all the more poignant for the interested observer.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
I guess you will have to exclude me from the manly man list since I don't do sports :-) I workout everyday, and I do, on occasion watch a boxing match.
I have no idea who is playing what or on which team. I do know the names of a few boxers.
Disclaimer, I played football in my younger days and I was very good at it, but I played because it was expected of me, not because I liked it.
Hint; a proclivity toward sports does not a manly man make.
:-)
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
HP, Do you think some men like sports and hunting because they are afraid of being scoffed at? Or because they define masculinity by having masculine interests?
I don't mind the sun sometime
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and Sugar
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through someone elses eyes
BHS-"Pepper"
I don’t try and adapt my responses to the wife’s needs, I’m simply referring to the reactions she has to my responses. The expectations from her list and the reality of how I’ll response are not always in “synch”. This leads to the “you just can’t win…no matter what you do, you’re wrong.”
First I hear “I need a strong man”, then “one that cry’s”, then I’m strong or I “cry” at the wrong time. When expectations are high and broad the gaps between reality, perceptions and expectations will be inevitable.
HP, I was just following your earlier statement. I don't think W ever expects me to cry, but she knows that I am not afraid to do so at times. I cried when my dad had his 4th heart attack and nearly died, I cried when W first told me she no longer loved me and wanted out of M (yeah NOP, I know, don't grovel). These are strong triggering moments.
I think many men pretend to like sports to avoid being scoffed at. I have been scoffed at for my dislike of organized sports, but I am always willing to be active, kayak, ski, hike, etc. I don't hunt since I don't eat meat (see above re heart attacks) But I will eagerly shoot the varmits eating my garden ( I call it feeding the vultures). I prefer constructive activities over violent displays of capitalism any day. Despite my many beliefs that run counter to the stereotypical manly man, I am certain that I am a good man. I obviously need to keep practicing the "steel" part.
NOP - Same here. My wife’s family are huge sports buffs and she knows much more than I do about sports. I never considered it that interesting. Now I like to workout and I'm into martial arts so I’ve never been called a wimp. The only exception is I do like to watch a few college football games each season. Of course my W says it’s because of the cheerleaders…
