I like what Jo and GEL wrote. Let's see what pops into my head:
Positive things:
1. Checking up on me during the day ( that I am thought of even if the day is hectic).
2. When he shows the kids affection in a spontaneous way ( and when they do the same). This always makes me smile.
3. Showing generosity---can be as simple as giving a big tip to a harried waitress.
4. Complimenting me on something I have put a lot of effort into, whether it's my appearance or that freakin' science project for my kid.
5. Helping me set limits with certain family members and connecting/actively participating with others. Doing the same thing with friends.
6. Being able to handle my emotions...showing strength, compassion and humor and not getting dragged down when I'm a basket case. We're still working on this one!
7. Making special plans for just the two of us (and the family as well). His insistence on a weekly date night got us on track.
8. Knowing I can count on him in an emergency. My H can act detached and clueless, but when something serious happens, he is there.
Negative thingss ( really the opposite of the above, point by point):
1. Forgetting about me during the day...not checking in, running late without calling, lack of accountability.
2. Interacting with the kids in a negative way...criticizes, yells, ignores, etc.
3. Being petty or cheap or judges what I have spent money on, even if it's something important for me.
4. Criticizes me, especially when it's something out of my control( example: negative comment about gray in my hair or house being messy when I am really exhausted).
5. Not interested in socializing or lets me drown in some interactions with friends/family.
6. Overpersonalizing my bad moods or detaching so much that I feel uncared for.
7. Waits for me to make plans answers with that indifferent/apathetic "I don't know."
8. Unavailable emotionally/physically when something bigtime happens.
