Your mother is worse than my MIL (I think). When my W tried to tell her mom about her brother and friends raping her she told her "don't cause this family anymore problems we have enough". So she endured it for six yrs. When W wanted to go to AL-Non meetings because of her fathers drinking, her mother said "NO!" I could list tons of examples, but you get the point.
I am excited your H said ILY, for me I loved W a longtime before I told her. "Players" will say it to get what they want, but you know your H is not a "player". So yes real men mean it when they say it. I love my XW now, but for DBing reasons I won't say it. When she tells me ILY, I will tell her also.
Keep up your dedication and patiences, you are doing great!
